It's "Not All Men" But... Misandry Isn't Real

Its "not all men," but it's too many of them.

You know, I had a very different blog in mind for this week. The internalized misogyny that we as women carry with us is an important topic that I have been wanting to talk about for some time, and I promise I am going to get to that one.

But here's the thing.

The men out there are doing more than enough to try to keep women "in line" these days, all while expertly avoiding taking any responsibility for their own words and actions.

So instead, this week we're going to take a closer look at the "not all men, but..." trend that's been going around, and why it is so damn important.

Let's get into it.

These misandrist females are ruining all the good girls for us

First Things First: Misandry Isn't Real

There is one thing I want to make very clear before we can go any further:

The oppressed can not oppress their oppressors.

Read that until you memorize it.

This is the equivalent of slave owners saying that their slaves are oppressing them for talking to the other slaves about how terrible their living and working conditions are.

You can see how silly that sounds, yes?

Women's rights are once again on the chopping block. The fact that the rights of an entire gender are up for debate is the only point that needs to be made here.

We do not control our futures. You do.

We can not oppress you.

Make no mistake. When they cry "misandrist!" this is the future that they want.

It's "Not All Men," But...

This has become one of my favorite, and most popular, themes on Threads.

Hundreds of thousands of views.

Thousands of comments.

And those comment sections have two very distinct themes:

Women sharing their stories and their support for one another; and other survivors and allies doing the same.

And the men. At least 90% of the men in those comment sections are denying the problem, proclaiming their innocence, or crying "misandrist."

As a quick note here: I see you men duking it out on our behalf in the comments. We appreciate you. There just aren't enough of you.

The most disturbing part of all of this though... Is the theme of the posts that get the most traction from the red-pill taking, Andrew Tate worshipping, incels of the internet world.

For instance: At the time I was writing this, this had only been posted a couple of hours earlier:

We would love to think that the vast majority of these comments are from people being outraged towards the adult men, right? Right??

Wrong. Oh so very, very, very wrong.

Let's take a look, shall we?

We're gonna start with an important one. This is why I make these posts. Until there aren't hundreds of examples of this readily available at any given time, our girls are not safe. This is why we can't stop screaming. My heart goes out to your friends 🫂

Now, on to the roasting:

First up, the amount of men who decided this was the time to act out their "professor and student" fantasy 🤢 This is my social media, not my doctoral thesis.

Plus, you know. You're mad about the wrong thing.

"Cite your source"

Funny they never ask Trump or Tate to cite their sources 🤔

Cue the victim blaming...

We are now retiring the phrase "it takes two to tango."

The ones that act like I called them out personally are one of my favorites 😇

Did I tag him in this? Is he following me? Was I aware of his existence before this comment? No to all of the above. But I'm convinced someone needs to peek at his hard drives 👇

When I tell you this man went on for so many messages. Like if you need this much clarification, you're guilty 👇

Can't leave out Captain Edge Lord, might hurt his little feelings 🤏

I would like to clarify again, this was just from one post, and all within the first few hours of me posting it.

A post that was about teen pregnancies being caused by adult men.

And those very same adult men just lined up, comment after comment, to call themselves out.

There is absolutely no other way to interpret their outrage. When I see a post about how bad it is to kick puppies, I'm not going to jump in the comment section to give 80 examples of times when it's okay to kick a puppy, question at what age does a dog stop being a puppy, or mention how the puppy probably had it coming.

You only get defensive when you have a secret that needs defending.

And that's on self-awareness 🫡

Why Posts Like This Matter

Take the first comment I showed above, for example. How many women, and children, have been forced to carry this shame alone? While their attacker is free to do the same thing to countless other young women and children.

We have all heard the stories about young girls "finding themselves in a family way," only to be shipped off to give birth in secret, and the parentage then hidden from the child. In some cases, the shame would then be put onto the child for being born a "bastard." Imagine.

As Madame Gisèle Pelicot so eloquently said recently: "It's not for us to have shame - it's for them."

They have been getting away with this kind of behavior for so long because they have terrorized us into silence. We have been too afraid to speak up, and so we have carried the shame in silence. And tried to quietly warn the women that came after us.

But they beat us to that punch, too. "Don't listen to those older women, they're just jealous of your youth and beauty."

There are too many voices now to continue to ignore the truth. This is why we have to keep talking. One or two women is just "hearsay." A few more is just "gossip." But when it's every woman who has a story, and has the power to share her story?

That is when worlds can change.

Enough Internet For Today...

This is why my almost-3-year celibacy strike is in no danger of ending any time soon. I watched a movie the other day called Time Cut on Netflix, and I may need to write another blog on that one. But it perfectly encapsulated what it was like growing up in the early aughts. Bullying was normalized. Women were only spoken to as sex objects. And standing up against it made you a social pariah.

Times are changing, and it's beautiful to see. But unfortunately this mindset is still running rampant through the minds of so many young men. These aren't just internet trolls looking to cause a commotion. As you can very clearly see through these comments, these are grown men who are desperate for their own "misdeeds" to remain a secret.

Keep making them uncomfortable. They probably just need to smile more about it 😘