I Refuse to Stay Silent: My Fight Against A Cult

Hi friends! I would like to start off today with a quick apology. My blog posting has not been consistent, and it's been causing me a great deal of anxiety. I'm so sorry! I have been basically living on Threads though, so if you want a look into my every day insanity, you can find me there.

My Fight Against A Cult

As you are aware by now, your girl has been through it. This body is just beginning to heal, and a big part of that means resting when needed. On top of the ✨trauma✨ I also have endometriosis. A few years back it was bad enough that I was barely able to move for over a year, I gained over 60 pounds, and wound up needing to have my right ovary, fallopian tube and appendix removed. And all that was after multiple abdominal surgeries and procedures to figure out the eff was wrong with me. Oh, and while all this was happening, I was still in the cult and an awful marriage with no support. Less than no support. I was constantly being harassed to go back to work, or to cook/clean. Rest and recouperation was not an option. No time to convalesce when you're in a cult being told that the fate of the world is on your shoulders.

Understandably, my body hasn't quite bounced back yet. All this to say, don't give up on me just yet! My past, my stories about my past, can help someone's future. That is not a concept that I am taking lightly. But, I will be honest with you. It does take a lot out of me. I've noticed an annoying correlation between finishing a blog, posting the teasers online, and then 🤢 all night before I post it the next day.

I don't want to admit this out loud, so I'll write it here on a global platform instead. A big part of me is terrified to be putting all of this out there. I escaped the cult in 2020. I still get phone calls and emails. My "contract" was not finished, so they believe that I now owe them over $30K USD. That was at last count; now that I'm being more vocal they will probably try to publicly come for me, and make that amount hundreds of thousands. I'm still intentionally not saying their name. Plausible deniability. (Is that a thing?) But this is only just the beginning.

Because here's the deal. The world is different today than it was before I went into the cult. I went in deeper just before Trump was elected. Some people have always been racist, there is no denying that. But they had the good sense to keep it quiet. Because they knew that saying how they really felt, all those prejudices and bigoted beliefs, saying them out loud would only get them in trouble; be it with their friends, or at work... The general public persona was to treat everyone with basic respect.

But people keep saying the quiet parts out loud now. There is a large part of the population who even celebrate it. In one way, it's so much better that they're exposing their true colors right away. You know, before you spend half a decade thinking you married a sane man only to realize you married a Republican who hates immigrants and queer people even though he married one 🙋🏻‍♀️

But at the same time, people are becoming radicalized. It's "not all men." It's not all rich people, or all religious people, or all white people, or all immigrants, or all any one demographic.

And that's exactly the point.

Odd, this divide wasn't here yesterday

Why I Refuse to Stay Silent

These are the tactics used by cults, and other evil leaders, to divide people; to distract them, so they don't see it when all of their rights are being taken away. They hand you the pieces, and you build your own cage around you. When you're terrified of some big, impending doom, you have no idea what you'll agree to. Trust me.

We are watching in real time exactly how cults work. We are watching people fall for confirmation bias and fear mongering every single day. An odd cultural shift is happening, and for once, I feel like there actually is something that I can do to help.

So I'm going to keep talking about it. I'm going to keep telling my stories. I'm going to tell you everything that I can, expose their secrets, expose their tactics, air their dirty laundry... I'm letting it all out. They kept me quiet with fear and intimidation. But then it occurred to me, thanks to a certain Buffy episode. It's about power. They had to give me CPTSD level trauma to keep me quiet.

My silence is their power. No more. I'm in the mood for burning bridges.

Fire pretty

In Conclusion

Again, I am so sorry for the sporadic posting. I promise I am working on nailing down a schedule and batching content so I can rest as needed. Also, I'm working up the nerve to start making videos, and to start delving into the more specific stories 😬 The blog is good, but it's not enough. I want to get more vocal, and keep spreading the word. When I got into the cult, I had already heard about it. There were articles in the news, celebrities acting weird on talk shows... But it was portrayed as harmless. Silly. Definitely nothing to worry about. The "ignore it and hope it goes away" mentality has lead to the state of our current society, and I won't be a part of it anymore. It's time to pull all the skeletons out from the closet, bone by bone.